I had a terrible day today it was like as though my clique had somehting on that I do not know and felt like as thoughm in the dark and left out and it is a terrible feeling I do not like. I felt invisible to them no matter how much attention I tried to get from them today was all to no vail.M.E is also totally ignoring me now and she stop replying my messages. I love her lots and I wish she could understand how I really feel about her and I think its time for me to forget her cause I really wish to be just myself but no matter how hard I try to forget her, I just love her more. The worst is she know I like her and she treating lik a dirtand now I just want to be happy with my friends "clique". Its just that i hate being left out and feeling invisible. Exams coming and I really wish to do well in my exams so that maybe my aunt would be pleased and buy me a laptop.heh. I think im feeling better. But I hate Monday but I hope tmr will be a better day. "Hope so".I still miss my mom ever since she gone everything in my life changed I learnt to be more independent perhaps but my heart ain't healng but it just getting worst and I wish all these nightmares would just end. Well theres a lot of reasons why Im very upset today and I wish things would change for the better.Maybe today is just not my day.I love you lots. And Im gonna starve myself this week. I hate myself.Why do all of you have to treat me like this. It hurts deep down inside I swear. It just hurts badly.