Sunday, March 29, 2009

Oka, today Im feeling better than ytd after so many break downs and thinking, now, seriously i wanna stop all the flings and everything, cause I had enough, its fun yet tiring, now I just wanna take things more maturely and seriously after many fears, I find what my friend said was right, Shane you're the best one of my life, but Idk if I wanna go further than what we are now cause Im really scared to lose you cause I don't think I can have any one else that makes me feel as comfortable as you do to me and accept me for who I am, and like what my friend said you dont ask for kisses or anything more you just stay there cheer me up and would go to any distance for me and thats what I've been looking for, but I guess things btwn you and me are diff now cause Im scared Im scared to ask you to be mine yet again cause Idk what to say cause I was the wrong one in the first place, sigh I just want things to get serious now, idk what else to do, cause I could only find and think of you,

?12:42 AM

Friday, March 27, 2009

oh well, guess what im tired overly tired, tired of everything, one by one turning me down making me down, i know difficulties and stuff so here i am giving up as a failure, dont knwo what to do, today sucks overly, ytd as well, sigh, school gonna open soon,attachment, gonna be so tired, so by then pls dont add to my tired ness and what ever pls, im tired, I give up, Im a failure total one, just let me know what gonna happen and i'll accept it all, my cousin going back and shane going oversea who am i gonna find in those few days, sigh im gonna miss Shane cause nobody is gonna pamper like he does anymore sigh, and just cause i told "him" not Shane i wanna give up on him, he said give up on him just that and so i did, cause i was tired asking and asking whats happening to him, sigh fuck it, going bankrupt as well, whats going on, sigh, and thought gonna have clique outing this sat, some got work la got church la and whatever la and so its cancelled, thought i could forget my upset ness that day soon cause im dying inside to meet up, but i give up la, just let me know whats gonna happen,

?10:56 PM

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Baby, I won't fall even if I did, I'd fall for you

Have not been blogging, lazy to blog and idk what else to blog abt, heh, supposed to post pics from chalet but im too lazy cause there's too many, sorry guys,soon i'll do just that yeah,

Oka, for now Im gonna act all blur cause i don't wanna face all those stupid probs that are troubling me, too many questions to ans too many probs to solve, I currently just wanna hang out all day and be with my friends, I miss Manyan, Garett, Prudence, & of course Rozana, and Im gonna miss Shane so much cause he is going overseas again but he said he'll be back in a week, sigh, there this feeling when you held my hand, and the why you look into my eyes and sit so close just to ask me am i alright, you make me mad, im going crazy, Idk whats going on, who the hell am i with why everything so messed up, im so lost, i feel like giving everything up now and seriously all i wanna do is party and drink all night away cause you guys are driving me crazy, rarr

?3:23 PM

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

MOM is gone for 3 years after today, but Im still mising everydays with you esp when im home late at night, you heating the food up for me, stayed up the night with me till im sleepy,going shopping with you, patting me to sleep when im sick, I felt there was another best friend with me at home, but now that I've lost you and Im missing you terribly and I just wish you'd be here to scold me for everything single bad things I've done. Just so I could feel your love, I complained when you were around that you nagged non-stop at me for every lil stuff, but now even I want you to do so, I cant, I miss you, and I know you'd be much happier now with GOD watching out for me, cause watching you slowly go away hurt me a lot and I just kept quiet and cry alone cause I didn't want you to worry esp when you hate ppl crying for you, I miss you & I love you,

?11:49 AM

Monday, March 16, 2009

:D heheh, loves loves loves my blog song! never get tired of it, heh, weird

Ytd was super crowded and super uber anooying cause there was like no place for you to dance, heh, anyway, it was rnb if you know what im talking abt, and im sorry, i kept you waiting till late while i was having fun else where, but you were mean to leave when i was on the way to meet you and i told you that I don't feel good and you asked why and i told you so but you didn't do anything anyway and you still asked, but okay it was my fault im sorry for not calling you when im supposed to, anyway, you're mean!!! hahah :D but im happy enough you'd called to say you're gonna sleep even after msging me, sorry yeah,

:D
Anyway Pictures tooken on friday 130309, supposingly supposed to go for shisha on that night but ended up not going cause the rest couldn't come along, sad, so went around with melrayl, heheh :D im missing you already girl,

?12:43 PM

Thursday, March 12, 2009

starstruck

I can't be bothered anymore cause you don't seem like you do anyway, so why should i be sitting here thinking whats wrong alone, so i've decided Im not gonna let you bring me down, do what you want cause i don't wanna bother anymore, Im gonna let it all go, since you cant give me what i want and since you cant be any better than this, I shan't be too and you give me insecurities like no one ever gave me before so be it i give up on us, idk what you want and so i guess it was all mistakes in the first place, but nah, i don't wanna talk abt and when i see you im gonna be alright, cause i shouldn't waste my time on someone whom dont bother so whats the point,

?3:10 PM

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

oka, today go to know which hospital i've got attached to for my attachement in april... Erm, I've got into SGH?? that means i can sleep longer and wont be late? haha, And holidays starts today!!!! YAAY!!!

15th im going and its like gonna be sardines there cause there too many ppl and annoying ones that i hate will be there too just so i've just knew? like whatever, hopefully they just dont bloody hell spoil my mood????

BABY, I still feel insecure around you idk why but seriously I can feel that you still have feelings for her, I don't understand why im feeling this way, sigh but cause you said you don't anmore i'll learn totrust?, and I hope other ppl wont try to break us up, just hoping,

And i wish I was more mean and less gullible so that ppl wont step all over me and betray my trust and I guess I trust ppl to easily knowing ppl aint that nice oka, maybe some? I just wish ppl would not walk all over me, i hate it cause its like taking advantage of me, and in the end i'll just ended up crying alone cause I don't wanna blame anyone for it for my stupidity, hopefully,

?1:52 AM

Monday, March 9, 2009

found these photos in my folders, heheh quite long ago...