Friday, July 24, 2009

My love, idk what to say seriously, I thought we'd last long, ppl tried breaking us up but I tried all my love to trust you and its just been a while and we're losing each other, Is it me or is it you? First its your family probs but I know i was being selfish thinking of myself wanting to be get what i want without thinking abt your probs, and now wassup with you? You broke my heart you made me mad you made me cry in the middle of my sleep in class, at home, I just wonder what you got to tell me, i just wanna talk to you one on one and catch up, your probs aint the excuses, i dont wanna be mean neither do i want you to be, so tell me all abt it, tell me so, you said im still your gf, and why wont you say what you want what you really want, you changed, everyone does but you changed too fast, :( and tell me is it over?
tmr will be going to Dairy farm with sweethearts:) happy but inside i feel like im troubled why?!!! friends i used to be close aint close but now at least in sch im managing :) and then after dairy farm maybe going to meet the rest then go cityhall watch firworks and dinner :D and shisha, i wanna kill myself, i hate myself being so weak over other ppl, why must i?!!!
Leave leave leave, nothing i love will last long, now i dont dare to love, im scared i'll lose "them" the ones i love, i dont want! But i cant control the fate:(

?8:22 PM

Saturday, July 18, 2009

GOT myself thse specs hehe:)

more pics and my words from my big big big heart below, haha:D

Love you so, hehe

Im sorry, if i did made you angry anyone, forgives, and friends oka, :D

cute or what hahahaahhaha

Smile, laugh out loud, cry out loud,

Some cute guy I saw at the ZOO hehehe :DD

Went back to sch alone to take my testimonial and sch was empty, heh, so took this stairs, My friend and me used to climb up from here whenever we're late hahah, EXERCISE WHoa hahah

This tree is a Rambutan tree, I plucked Rambutans from here b4 going over to my friend's place to meet her Mommy hahhahah, I know I know cheapo heheh, :D

This bus stop in front my sec sch, the seats, my clique wuld sit there for hours after sch and think where to go and ended up always going to my friend's place 15mins walk from that bus stop hahaha,

MY CLIQUE:D hhahhahaah Me right in front front front sit, can find? hahahah the short hair one hahahaha :D

My CP friends, I miss them :D i wished those times would still stay same, ''/

anyway, I look funny hahhahha, and Mr leonard in this pic his smile here is the best :) hehe

We represent heheehe drifted like tokyo drift heheh, im so lame, anyway, misses

DABIAN! I know i could find a real friend in you:) thank you, and sorry for being mean at times cause i just dont wanna drag you into my probs thats why but I love you still DABIAN! :D

THOSE PICS up there are for ppl I random sees ''/ and misses them but still many more but those are just a few,

Ok many things to blog abt, currently hooked onto many things, MILK, MILK TEA,BE WITH YOU BY AKON,EGG TART,SCH :D
Im HAPPY Scooling now i guess, im tryna get my love through my frens, cause i find joy from them now, they're make me laugh and cry but I'd still laugh, cause i Know they dont mean things they say or do at times, cause my love for them is real:D TEST SOON! Gotta study wanna pass it with better grades, wanna prove that Im not BLUR! :D

AND NO ONE KNOWS IM INTO YOU, Idk, you! YOU! you! asked if Im not not over you, i can tell you I am, but I am not i know its silly, idk whats going in your mind, why wont you talk to me, why do you make things feel more awkward, just talk to me and i think things will be better. dont you thinks so? and i told you im over you cause i don't wanna be make fun of or sound foolish cause its silly being into you for nth and just for the way i feel inside,

And BOY, Idk whats going on, whats happenening to us? Its just a month and we're driftting is it cause im lousy i guess its me, I wished you'd call at times instead of messaging and makng the effort since you said you love me and cares, and I alread dont care what other ppl thinks of you, but it seems like its all to late huh, Im sorry if im a bad gf. and i've deleted your number so im not gonna do anything abt it anymore and i guess its over, i guess, I dont feel like im in love, I rmb you said you wnt give up getting my love and I know you're having probs true or not, i trust you, but still you dont have to treat me like this. get it? I dont wanna walk away when you're having probs i dont wanna do it again repeat my mistake again so im gonna give us a nother chance yeah LOVE?

BESTIE (FZ)- I gave up hope on you, you seem stubborn I don't think being your friend is worthit but Im gonna forget all that you've accused me for, Talk to me whenever you want. And i hope you dont let this friendship end like this.

And soon, I'll be having curfew tooo, and more spending time with aunts and uncles :D i dont mind, cause i've been feeling lonely so Im gonna like this:) I can be a GOod girl then hehehe.

God, forgive me for what I've done and sinned being so negative and hating myself and depending everything on you, Thank you for not giving up on me and forgiving me, thank you,

Thank you mommy I know you'll be watching me guarding me, I love you

?12:02 AM

Friday, July 10, 2009

SOMETHING TO EXPLAIN HERE!

I AIN'T THAT BORED AND YOU GUYS AREN'T THAT POPULAR FOR ME TO TALK ABT!

STOP THINKING THAT IT'S ME GOING AROUND TALKING ABT EVERYTHING AND IM NOT ACTINF CUKING DAMN SO STOP FCUKING HELL STOP THINKING IN A NARROW WAY.

IM NOT SO LAME TO TALK ABT YOU TWO WTF FOR WILL I GAIN AND I FCUKING HELL DONT KNOW ANYTHING AND BLAMING ME FROM THE BAKC IS STUPID.

COME ASK ME STRAIGHT DONT SAY BEHIND MY BACK AND PUT WORDS IN TO MY MOUTH!

AND BESTIE (FZ) IF YOU COULD JUST STOP BLAMING ME EVERYTIME.

IDK WHATS GOING ON WTF ARE YOU BLAMING FOR ALL THE FCUKING THINGS YOU GUYS HEAR.

I SAID SO THAT I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

SO IF YOU DON'T TRUST ME DON'T ASK AND DONT ANYHOW BLAMING THINGS ON ME JUST SO YOU HEARD IT FROM PPL. WTF.

I'VE GOT MY LIMITS TOO. STOP THINKING OF YOURSELF ONLY. I JUST HOPE YOU'D OPEN YOUR EARS AND EYES PROPERLY.

IM NOT THAT FCUKING LAME SO DONT BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING JUST CAUSE IM BEING NICE ALL THE TIME!

?9:43 PM

Sunday, July 5, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROZANA!!!!

Thank you for being my friend!!!:D

Its been quite a while i've touched my blogg, the blogger wouldn't let me post out my posts, anyway, tmr sch starts again, 1.2 nursing. Same form teacher and class :D im glad so heheh. Im gonna study hard the new term and be a good girl and i promise that oka! :) ahhahahaha i wanna make my aunts who were there for me all these while ever since mommy is gone and dad proud. Cause I've realised I've changed a lot to a not so good person so i wanna be a good girl once again like i used to be when mommy was still around yeah, hopefully my laziness and other stuff wont distract me. Oh well i shall have faith in myself! Watch me!:D

Don't wanna be drifted from my loved ones,

?11:48 AM

Sunday, June 14, 2009

DABIAN AND ME <3

I look like crap here hahha, show i've been working hard:D

Ward 46 room 24 & etc my fav staffs and Enrolled nurses, :D Im gonna miss them, the last week with them was fun and more fun :) I seriously learned a lot, but I still need to improve on my professional actions and the way i stand hahahah, hmm, fun yes,:) and two more weeks to go! hahah, I hope by then my cp frens we'll be still as close yeah, but im excited to meet JNo901F:) see how they're been, hmm, reading their blogs they all seemed fine :) im glad, counting down days to go to meet all of you! :D

I miss my clique in sec sch, i've seen the videos, its been really fun and retarded then it cheered up my day, maybe only when we're not meeting and not that close anymore, we'll know how much we miss being together, maybe we must get separated a while and knows then that everyone of us actually existed yeah, correct me if Im wrong, anyway, today my heart broke again, i saw the fb pics, labels girlfriends/bitches, then i just had do dig a bigger hole for myself in my heart to read one of the comment and it actually hurt me and got me thinking too much i guess, I knw im not perfect but I cant beleive a small incident made us 4 or me apart from you 3? Perhaps that was meant to happened, idk whats going on, but Am i glad, i still got my besties and outside frens to count on, though i wished that day didn't happened,

Im sorry Linda and Jinliang yeah, for not turning up straight, Im sorry, Im realy tired, i hope you'll read this yeah, Im really sorry for turning back on my word and not turning up, I miss all of you too,

Ytd, chat with bestie, he told me stuff abt my recent bf and i was shocked that my bf was not what i thought, so Im breaking down hoping im not being brainwashed by him, and Baby, its not that i dont trust you and trust others, but why would my frens tell me stuff abt you this way, why would they even have things to say, but Yeah, im lost, I felt you lost me, or neither i lost you, sigh i lost my gfs already i guess and now im thinking i've already lost you thoguth you said you'll get my love back,

why? why do i love ppl so much until they could hurt me so deep, I wanna be so mean, so that i'll be so cold blooded not love anyone, I really wished I didn't had so much love inside to give away adn ppl treating it like shit, my love is sincere no matter what, but why do i get hurt so easily, why!!!

?3:09 PM

Monday, June 8, 2009

BABY, WON'T YOU TAKE ME OUT OF THIS CLUB, I WANNA BE WITH YOU

I SMILED ENOUGH, I FLIRTED ENOUGH,I POSED ENOUGH, I FREAKED ENOUGH,I PARTY ENOUGH, I DRANK ENOUGH

Baby, im missing you right now, you owned me from the day you made me special, you were so diff I found you special, now, my mind is all abt you, you made me feel diff everytime when Im with you, baby, im in love with you,

Im hungry Im hungry of love, Love from my girlfriends, am I overly loving them idk but i feel so. Stupid case not over yet, Im tired tired of what I've done repaying it by the way I feel,
Im loving my clinical attachment they're fun, lovable, and all i know is they make me feel alive around, ahahhahhah, I love you guys! And counting down the days to go back to sch, Im actually thinking of someone but Idk abt him, at times I feel like asking him, do you or have you think of me b4 but I know he wnt say,

?9:37 PM

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Oh dear, the emo me is here, im high when i go for my attachment, now is polyclinic attachment, hmm, my friends, they think im insane cause i was so high, its not that i high its just that i dont want the way i feel deep inside to effet the ppl around me, but then its still fun being with them for attachment :)

Im missing Shane already ''/ he leaving overseas with his dad for buisness for 5 bloody months, and i told him, leave anyway im used to it, :( no one to spoil me anymore, and

"HE" got a new girl now, should i be happy, but idk why do i feel so much for "HIM" even it was just a moment :( , hmm,

anyway, its just gonna be a new start with someone else, YOUR imperfections make things perfect the way you try to understand me, trust me, trying to win me over, Im starting to like the feeling of it, :) yes I do,

I miss you girls so much, but you girls seem to have probs too, idk who to go to, but I love you girls,

P.S to friends, everyone is still my friend no matter what, :) PlS Cheer up everyone, :D esp, M,G,P...................

?12:55 AM